I write this from the InnTown Suites in Valdosta, Georgia, where every night for the last week-and-a-half there’s been a murder. Fortunately for the Georgia Division of Public Health and Vital Statistics, these senseless acts were committed by their Civil War-era bedding upon my lower back, despite the intervention of $14 worth of corrugated foam. [...] ... read »

I thought it proper to let everyone know that our own Logan Davis made the papers recently. Or rather, he made “BEARDSTOFUCK.COM. Close enough. Henceforth, let this feed function as a preemptive memorial page, in case those scruff-loving ladies and gentlemen come hunting for some otter pelt. (Blinds should best be set up facing Taco [...] ... read »

[Ext. Cafe. Late-afternoon. A man sits alone eating a crepe at a table on the patio of a small cafe somewhere in the bowels of downtown Denver. A middle-aged woman sits at the next table filing her nails. She is wearing no makeup. She suddenly leans and speaks.] Woman: Excuse me sir. Excuse me. Hi. [...] ... read »

On September 10th, 1980, a child was born unto Oscar and Frances Zalamia. They named him Christopher, perhaps in tribute to the patron saint of travelers, who used all seven-and-a-half feet of his height to ferry villagers across a swift river in Canaan, before being relieved of his head by the Romans.  Or maybe it [...] ... read »

Hey all, I’m one vanilla bean frappuccino deep at the Greenpoint Starbucks, waiting in less-than-masculine anticipation for a visit this evening to Lake Trout, the Baltimore-themed eatery that just opened in Williamsburg.  Yes, our hometown is now a “theme.”  This must be how Europeans feel when they visit Busch Gardens.  Luckily the whole thing is [...] ... read »